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Amy Elizabeth

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(no subject) [Feb. 19th, 2012|11:49 pm]
sometimes you just need to trust Jesus and shut the hell up.
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(no subject) [Feb. 19th, 2012|02:19 am]
it's nights like tonight that make me second guess myself.
second guess my worth.
second guess my words.
i feel like i'm walking on eggshells with my friends and my own sanity.
i want to explode.
i once again find myself shaken up- and i just need someone to take the cap off and let me release whatever this stuff is inside of me.

i want to be whole.
i don't want this constant longing for freedom.
it's nights like tonight where i find myself losing sight of Jesus- and in the morning i'm left alone to pick up the pieces.

i'm always alone.
well- i'm always alone with God.

i feel like i may regret writing this later.
but, i don't care.
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(no subject) [Feb. 17th, 2012|11:10 pm]
[Current Music |The Permanent Rain- The Dangerous Summer]

i found a song last night- and i haven't stopped listening to it today.
i love how you can find yourself in music. music has a way of redeeming your heart and speaking words that you never dare say.

music allows you to express how much you love someone, the pain you feel, the longings you have, the hope that you have, anything you feel or are going through can be defined in a song.

losing yourself in music is a gift.
some people listen to music just to listen to it because it sounds cool or is what is, "the new top 40 hit" if you will.

but here's the inner hipster of me-
i love finding songs that aren't ruined by the music corporation. a song that is written by someone in a band who has had pains and triumphs and put those emotions and feelings into a song.

those songs, are the songs that speak volumes to me and my life- and those are the songs that travel with me throughout my story.

songs allow us to redeem ourselves from the ashes- and motivate us to shake the dust off and keep moving. there's freedom in music- there's freedom in the lyrics. there's freedom in the truth that express.

"you know I’ve got this friend up in the atmosphere,
an another reason not to fear the sky"

In Him,
Amy Elizabeth
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(no subject) [Feb. 3rd, 2012|07:35 pm]
i'm tired of getting pushed to the side.
i find myself constantly fending for myself.
and when i DO ask for help- i get shut down.
i sometimes wonder if it's even worth it to waste my breath?
maybe i should just suck it up and keep my stuff to myself.
grow a backbone.

i could use one right now.
whatever.
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(no subject) [Feb. 3rd, 2012|04:14 am]
[Current Music |i want to know you- Jesus Culture]

in 9 hours i have to go to the funeral of yet another friend.
and oddly enough... i'm not that upset.

i'm thankful for the time i spent with Matt.
i'm thankful that he got to receive Jesus.
i'm thankful and hopeful that i will see him again soon.

death isn't something new to me.
in a way it's defined my life.
but- in a way i'm thankful for that as well.
death has allowed me to love harder and make my words count.
i've been able to realize the value of a life and the value of my own life.

for the longest time i use to hate my life and not care about living.
i would just... go day by day just, existing.
and that's no way to live.

instead- live out your dash in new ways each day.
finish the race in flying colors.
God has called each one of us to great things- and i don't want mine to pass me by.
our life is a vapor.
a poof in the span of eternity.

it's insane.
and i'm thankful for this life.
and i'm thankful for the life Matt got to live.

i shall see you soon friend.
but not too soon. ; )

In Him,
Amy Elizabeth
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(no subject) [Jan. 22nd, 2012|02:16 pm]
[Current Music |Memory (acoustic) - Sugarcult]

Today is a day that will live in infamy forever.
It's a day that I will remember as the day that my world was turned upside down.
But then again- it will also be remembered as a day of redemption.
When God stepped in.

I'm typing this post from a Charlotte, North Carolina Starbucks on a friends computer.
And we just got the news that a friend of ours received Jesus for the first time.
Our friend got a clear picture of the Father, and how much He loves her.

One of my friends went from death to life in a physical sense.
One of my friends went from death to life in a spiritual sense.
It's amazing how when you pray that God redeems something He does it in a way that you wouldn't expect.

I love how Jesus is full of surprises and He's not able to be put into a box.
Our God is greater- Our God is stronger.
He's so higher than any of us.
He saw this day, and He saw this day seven years ago.

I'm undone at how good Jesus is to me.
It's kind of not fair-
but why would we want fair with Jesus right?

I can't wait to see what Jesus does January 22, 2013...

in Him,
Amy Elizabeth
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(no subject) [Jan. 14th, 2012|12:53 am]
[Current Music |Give Me Faith- Elevation Worship]

I never realized this till now... but I've been extremely selfish with my faith and relationship with Jesus.

Somewhere deep inside myself I feel like I deserve more from God, that I've gone through too much stuff and have held it against Jesus like a blackmail to Him. Like, "God, you made me go through ____, so because of that I'm going to pick something that I know isn't from You at all."

And that be it, I wouldn't have remorse, I wouldn't feel that bad about it. In the aftermath of it all I would just sit back and think, "Whoops."

These last few weeks I've really come to WANT TO live a life of honor to God. By picking Him, and seeking His glory out in all things. Sure, it's hard and I still want to pick sinful things... but I know that when I glorify Him- He is happy.

And isn't that all that matters?

That at the end of the day all glory, praise and thanksgiving goes to God?
I want to live a life not sitting down.
I've played it safe, and haven't risked as much as I know God is calling me to.
And honestly, that's not fair to the one who loves me no matter what I pick...

So I guess this is a declaration of change and a new chapter in the story God is writing for my life.

He wants me to live a life of miraculous possibilities, of second chances, and grace.

I'm ready.
And I'm stoked for the next.

In Him,
Amy Elizabeth
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(no subject) [Jan. 11th, 2012|01:36 am]
[Current Music |Mythbusters]

I should probably post something soon.
I'm inspired, just not sure how write about it yet.
Coming Soon: My Thoughts On The Valley.

Sounds interesting right?
Yeah, I don't think so either.
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(no subject) [Jan. 4th, 2012|02:52 am]
[Current Music |My dogs snoring]

Here we go.
A rant shall we call it?

I'm tired of people being so worried about the people around them and who sees them do what.

You know the people I'm talking about.
The ones who complain when someone doesn't follow them on Twitter or Facebook.
The person who is constantly trying to one up, and or be better than the next person.
The person who spends way too much money on a t-shirt just because they want to, "look cool".

I don't understand why anyone would live like this- and I also don't understand why anyone would live like this and be in denial that they do. It's disgusting to me.


We all have a voice, we all were created UNIQUELY for a REASON.
Stop trying to be like Joe-Blow next to you. You may think that person is awesome and amazing and someone else may think they are a total and complete douche-bag-ass-wipe.

Stop trying to be someone you're not. And just be you. Be who you want to be. Be happy, be creative, be nerdy, be dumb, be athletic, be whatever. As long as you're happy. Don't try to be like someone else.

I've heard it said that what we see in people and from people is their highlight reels. We don't see the behind the scene footage of their struggles, heartaches, problems, addictions... what have you.

So stop comparing yourself.
Stop wanting the best things.
Stop trying to be better than everyone and or compare yourself to everyone.

You are created uniquely.
Your words matter and you should use them.
Let your voice rise.
Don't sell yourself out for something ridiculous like friends on a social networking site.
And don't sweat that you have 50 followers or 50,000. It doesn't matter.

No one is better than anyone else.
Because in the end...

The ground is leveled at the foot of the Cross.



-Amy Elizabeth
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(no subject) [Jan. 1st, 2012|09:37 pm]
[Current Music |I Don't Want To Be- Gavin Degraw]

So here we are again Livejournal... another year- and yet another post.
It's crazy to think that so much has been posted here. So many words, so many feelings, emotions, and thoughts. Even though there has been much said, there is still so much that has been left unsaid as well.

I never feel fully safe, or secure enough to say what I need to say in fear of someone getting hurt by my words. Even here. I know that this journal doesn't get as much traffic flow as it once did- but, I know there are still a few stragglers... Who come around every once and a while.

Maybe- one day- I will be able to allow my words to ring out like gunshots in the night. Or, a song that gets stuck in your head all day; no matter how hard you try to remove it.

I want my words to matter, I want what I say in this journal and even in my everyday life to matter.

I think that's what everyone wants in the end- to matter. To make an impact. To change something that seems impossible. To leave a legacy I guess.

Funny thing is- we all leave legacies. We all leave impacts. Every word you say, every little thing you do, it sticks with a person. A song comes on the radio and it may remind someone of you, or a phrase in a book or, a simple salutation from a friend.

We are all on a journey and we all have words to use and to impact people. So don't take your words for granted. Don't take your life and your story for granted.

Your story matters.

In Him,
Amy Elizabeth

“Sometime I think we waste our words and we waste our moments, and we don’t take the time to say the things that are in our hearts when we have the chance.”
— One Tree Hill
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(no subject) [Dec. 28th, 2011|09:17 pm]
all consuming fire.
You are our hearts desire.

i want to know how high, how deep, how wide is Your love.
reveal it to me Jesus.
reveal Your love to me Father.
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(no subject) [Dec. 23rd, 2011|02:17 am]
[Current Music |Everybody Learns From Disaster- Dashboard Confessional ]

Dear you,

All I can say is thank you. Thank you for being a constant throughout this year. In the midst of all that has happened you have always been behind me cheering me on and loving me to no end. And that's exactly what I needed.

When I felt unloved, lost, broken, and tossed to the side you were there to remind me that I am loved, valued, and needed. You helped me dust the dirt off and help me stand up and keep going. You're always pushing me forward and cheering me on. And I can't thank you enough for that.

You're unlike any person I've ever met. You tell me that I'm strong and I can overcome. You tell me God is on my side even when I feel like He's in the other corner. You tell me that you will always be there for me and cheer me on to day 365. (267). It means the world.

I've never met anyone like you- and I'm so thankful I have. You remind me to look up, keep going, and muster up the strength to follow the plans God has for me.

So to you, and you know who you are- I thank you. I raise my glass high in your honor.
Also, thanks for the bear.
She's lovely.

All my love,
Amy Elizabeth
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(no subject) [Dec. 21st, 2011|03:43 am]
[Current Music |Kill- Jimmy Eat World]

Dear 18 Year Old Amy,

This year is going to be one of the hardest years to date for multiple reasons. But you're stronger than that. You can and you will overcome this year. Risk your heart on him again- it's worth it. It may hurt, and you may get confused. But it makes you know the difference between love and lust later on.

You're going to kick start your relationship with Jesus and hit a hard wall right after. That wall is going to knock you down, and it's going to hurt. You will fail, you will hurt people, but you will become victorious in the end.

You will lose someone close to you. It's going to hurt, and you will be confused and hurt- but the pain won't last forever. It will be okay.

You're going to relapse- and it's going to hurt those around you and yourself. But you will get through it. You will find an escape and stick to it. Even now it's hard but it's so worth it.

Your story matters- your words matter. Love people like you mean it in your heart. Don't be a jerk and self protect. It will get you no where. You are really loved and cared for. Believe it, and live in that.

With that being said, good luck 18 Year Old Amy.

Sincrely,
20 Year Old Amy.
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(no subject) [Dec. 19th, 2011|02:06 am]
I'm not someone people want around.
I'm that person that most people stomach when they see at church, school, or just out and about.
I'm always left behind- and I have to fight to have friends it feels like.


Well guess what?...
I'm done fighting.
I'd rather be alone than a burden.
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(no subject) [Dec. 14th, 2011|02:03 am]
[Current Music |Untitled- Blink 182]

I am fighting to stay at the cross.
I'm in a season- I hurt someone I love.
I've been beating myself up.
I can't fix it.
There's no way.
Only Jesus can do that.
And Him alone.

I feel helpless in a sense.
But hopeful the same.
I am fighting to grip onto the cross.
When all that I want to do is run from it.
He wants me near, and wants to hold me dear.

Like a child I am torn. Do I go and hide, or stay in the safety of His arms?
I'm realizing how broken I really am.
And how far from grace I have fallen.
I want Jesus.
I want love.
I don't want religion.

I want my friend back.
The way that is was.
I hate that I had to realize how messed up I am... through a few simple words.

Like I said,
I can't fix it.
I can't mend it.
But I can trust Him.

That's it.

In Him,
Amy Elizabeth
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(no subject) [Dec. 5th, 2011|01:37 am]
[Current Music |Last Kiss- Taylor Swift]

Winter break is coming up quickly. In just a few short days finals will be long gone from my mind. No school, no worries.

Frankly, this is one of my favorite times of year.
Why you ask?

It's my time where I can totally take myself out of the picture.
You may ask... "Amy, what does that mean?"
I just stay to myself.
I hermit up.
I stop going places I feel like I have to go to make people happy- to people please.
And I just exist.
It's exhilarating.

And the best part of the winter for me- is that its the season I spend the sweetest time with Jesus. Each winter me and Him get away together. It's like dating all over again.

I can't wait to see what Jesus has to show me.
It's so refreshing to know that in a few short days things will be so much more calm and manageable.

Till then... I'll be studying for Psychology.

See you in a few days Livejournal.

In Him,
Amy Elizabeth
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(no subject) [Nov. 27th, 2011|07:29 am]
[Current Music |With Everything-Hillsong United]

"With everything....
With everything....
We will shout for Your glory."

Everything.
That's everything we can muster up in us.
That's everything we can get out in hard times.
That's everything we can get out in good times.
With everything we are called to shout for His glory.
No matter how bad off we feel, no matter how far from God we are... it all comes back to the cross and His glory.

"With everything...
We we will shout forth Your praise.
Whoaa...oh....oh....."

In Him,
Amy Elizabeth
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(no subject) [Nov. 21st, 2011|12:13 am]
[Current Music |For The Honor-Elevation Worship]

I kind of love when Jesus calls me to go down hard paths and seasons. In the middle of it, I know there will be pain. There will be confusion. But, I know once I come out the other side... I will be grown, matured, and learned in a new area.

I've never really seen myself as a, "strong" person- but lately that's what Jesus has been calling me. He is calling me a Survivor... a Champion.

There's nothing I can't overcome with Him.

Jesus has revealed so much to me in the last few weeks... It's been hard. It's been challenging. But, it's been totally worth it. Have I taken the true, and right steps to get freedom from these things? I have for the most part... School and what not is keeping me from going all out.

Personally, I am a fan of the saying, "time heals all things". Which is true- but Jesus does as well. So I'm getting to trust Him with my time and His timing. It's scary- but totally worth it.

Okay. There's a quick post. No one reads this anything anymore. I think it's for my own amusement.

In Him,
Amy Elizabeth


side note- if you haven't bought the new Elevation Worship album on iTunes that came out tonight... you need to do it. Now. Don't miss out...
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(no subject) [Nov. 8th, 2011|12:31 am]
"God filled me up, but only to be poured out. Strange how God works. He sent a King, but only to be a servant. He gave Him flesh, but only so it could be pierced. He gave Him blood, but only so it could be spilled. He gave Him life, but only so we could give Him death. He died, but only to rise again. He saw we were imperfect, so He took the blame. He sees us now, His Son smiles back. Strange how God works."
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(no subject) [Nov. 4th, 2011|12:58 am]
[Current Music |Break Every Chain- Jesus Culture]

I'm being transformed. I'm realizing the head and heart disconnect in my life- and Jesus has taken over and is pulling the two together to mend them. I'm believing Jesus for what He says about me. He says I will overcome and I will. I'm realizing the power that comes from Jesus. I'm blown away.

He wants me to come away with Him.
And I am running.
I want to be with Him.

In Him,
Amy Elizabeth
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(no subject) [Oct. 5th, 2011|01:08 am]
Tonight wasn't a milestone.
It wasn't... a mountain top.
It wasn't... a band, a speaker, a sermon.
It wasn't the people... or the person.

It was me and Jesus.
I will know Him.
I will get to the Cross in the end.
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(no subject) [Oct. 2nd, 2011|12:03 am]
[Current Music |Good Day- Angels and Airwaves]

It's nights like tonight where I have to fight to stay at the foot of the cross.
Let me put it this way-

I remember being younger and I would be falling asleep in my parents bed and my dad would pick me up and try to carry me to my room and I would grab onto the bedposts with all my might while he tried to pull me away. I would intertwine my fingers, scream, and cry holding on because I didn't want to leave where I was comfortable and where I knew I was safe.

That's how I feel with the cross right now.

I'm holding on so hard, tears, screaming, I don't want to let go. But Satan is pulling me back. He wants to pull me away from Jesus and the many steps I've taken to Jesus these last few weeks.

I'm tired of holding on and gripping to the bedpost.
I'm ready for all of this to just be over with.

Come Holy Spirit.

-Amy Elizabeth
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(no subject) [Sep. 28th, 2011|10:59 am]
What am I missing? Forgiveness? Grace?

Does Jesus really have my heart?
Or am I just running scared?

I'm broken- we all are.
But I can be fixed.

Why do I think I'm the exception... where is this answer?
I want the Father.
I need the Father.
He's helped me before.
I know He wants to help me again.

But, it all comes back to... do I know Him?
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(no subject) [Sep. 23rd, 2011|12:30 am]
[Current Music |Silverstein- Discovering The Waterfront ]

So tonight I got to take a hard pill and also get my temperature tested.
Do I mean this literally?... no. Spiritually? Yes.

For the last few months or so I've been stuck in this rut of finding out who I am with Jesus, and if I know Him... and lastly- what my relationship with Him really is. And, it's been hard. Really hard.

This last week I've really been able to get a grip on my faith. And realize it's not about others, it's about me and God. Me and Him alone. I let insecurity rule so much in my life... even my faith and relationship with Jesus. Insecurity is a silent thief to me... I think I'm doing great and it sneaks up out of no where and captures and steals what I love without warning.

And it's really starting to piss me off.

Lately at my church I've been feeling unwanted, that my, "story" isn't up to par or that I don't matter because I'm not a, "real" leader... All of these things are lies... but I've listened to them for so long that they became truths to me.

These things have held me back from being close to the Father like He wants me to be. Am I saying my faith is an act? No. I'm saying that I allow others to influence my faith in ways it shouldn't. I need to get back to me and God... no one else. Where I'm at right now in my journey- I don't need unnecessary outside forces giving me their two cents on my faith.


I need to get back to that child like faith... strive to be in His presence, in His will, in His love.
It's His love that brings us together and what holds me together in the darkest of moments. The great thing about God that I keep learning over and over again is that He never gives us more than we can handle. And when it feels like He has- He meets us in it and lightens our load. He wants to see me succeed... He won't let me fail.

Gosh... I needed to get these words out.
I've known Jesus my whole life... I can't remember a time where He has abandoned me.
It's crazy.

I'm in love with a Man I can't even see.
Crazy.

In Him,
Amy Elizabeth
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So... this may be far fetched- but hey why not. [Sep. 21st, 2011|01:55 pm]
So...

After talking with Jesus for a while... I think He has given me a plan for my life... and it's kind of hard to believe... but.... this is what I've heard Him speak to me as of lately.

I need to finish what He's started at BCTC.
He is calling me to Cincinnati Bible College soon after.
He doesn't want me at Quest for much longer... (No specific date... could be years, months, who knows)
I feel a calling to move away from Kentucky for a while.

That's about all I got for right now... it's insane... If you do read this... all 3 of you... prayers are appreciated...
Let's see this plan go all out for His glory.

... whew.


-Amy Elizabeth
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(no subject) [Sep. 5th, 2011|12:56 am]
[Current Music |Maroon 5- Never Gonna Leave This Bed]

So, Mike Breaux spoke at Southland tonight... the series name for right now is, "The Illusionist".... I had to type a hard copy of my notes tonight... This sermon was a game changer.


- If you were to pull back the curtain on my life, what would people see?
- How am I not authentic?
- Am I an illusionist?
- Don't hide behind the curtain- be the person God has created you to be.
- Don't be afraid to be who God made me to be.
- I'm already, "in" and accepted. By God. He matters most.
- Jesus needs to be the most important person in my life so I can live how He wants me to live.
-God has an iPhone photo gallery of for photos just of me. He takes delight in me.
- Genesis 2:25- Vulnerable before God and each other. Walking honestly and openly with the Father.
- Never doubt the true character of God -> When we do we start to, "cover up".
- God is longing for our compassion.
- His call is gentle and compassionate.
- Why do I hide? Why do I cover up?
- "Jesus knows me, this I love."
- Freedom in knowing God knows everything and He still loves me.
- Don't allow the illusion to become reality.
- Whatever is in the darkness always come to the light.
- Choose authenticity over, "faking it".
- Surrender to God and live in freedom. Stop playing the game.
- Live real and full- not some phony image.
- Illusion self vs. Truth Self.
- The pursuit of Go brings us to true happiness.
- Allow God to ambush me with love... HE WANTS TO!
- I'm free to come out of hiding.
- We find ourself by seeking after God.
- Lose yourself in God and you will find your identity.
- God isn't behind a curtain- His beauty is always on display.
- Psalm 19
- Romans 1
- God isn't something He's not.
- Hebrews 1:3
- John 1:1-3, 14
- God is a God who sees everyone with worth.
- He's a source of living water and love.
- He's a Father who sits by the gate and waits for His children.
- The Father showed grace by having His hands nailed to the cross- the curtain was torn.
- When the curtain was torn there was no need to hide any longer.
- What happens at the cross stays at the cross.
- 1 John 4:16
- Love is who God is.
- 1 John 4:18
- Perfect love drives out insecurity- perfect love sets us free.
- (Brennan Manning- Abba's Child)
- God love can change a life.
- God wants us to be free drop the mask.
- He's the true lover of my soul.
- We desire an unfailing love.
- Psalm 32:10, Psalm 33:5, Psalm, 36:7, Psalm 130:7, Psalm 17:7-8, Isaiah 54:4-5, Psalm 68:5-6, 1 John 3:1, Ephesians 3:16-19
- God is 100% faithful.
- EXPERIENCE HOW MUCH JESUS LOVES ME!
- Our true self is found in surrender to Gods love.

- Relief is found in giving up. Freedom is found in surrender.
- There's freedom in floating, He strong enough to hold us up.
- There's freedom in giving up and just letting God love me.
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(no subject) [Jul. 20th, 2011|01:31 am]
"And I saw him, Death with his mighty sting
Exhaling in every breath a platy brings
To the grave he gave victory
Triumphing over life with the fear of endless sleep
Endlessly we hide from our mortality
Mortally wounded from birth we lie to ourselves from infancy
Infinitely investing time in a life that will inevitably that will be taken by this incredible creature that now stands before me...

Oh Death...
He manifests himself on ordinary days
Six foot stomach growls with hunger pains
For his meal he cannot wait,
So we are forced to taste him even before the grave

We are all dying,
There is no other way.
I see Him in Haitian and Japanese earthquakes,
He is hating the escapees of his cruel wakes

I see him in poverty
Impoverishing the quality of life
For regions that are reachable and in those with the reach who find reason to not reach out and treat what is treatable...

I see him in disease taking life out of uninfected yet, affected families
I see him in oppression, pressing down on the oppressed and oppressor

I see him in depression, in Prozac and pain pills,
In razor blades and bed side wills.
I see him in abuse, physical, mental, emotional misuse.

I see him in spiritual confusion,
Material obsession, physical possessions.

I see him in marital transgressions,
Childhood remorse from an ugly divorce.

I see him in our slavery to appearances,
Appearing to care more about our images than those in dying villages.

I see him in our ignorance, ignoring truth of some comfortable inference
I see his emergence in our church as we pull out emergency verses that determines to religious differences going on the defensive, defending our ways of worship making community worthless.

Death is killing us, before we even enter the surface of the Earth.
We are in service of His words.
'It is finished.'
The end of our birth.

We cannot hide from his wretched curse.
For death and his grave we constantly rehearse.
Even God Himself was coerced.
Divinity immersed itself in humanity,
humbling taking on flesh, scorn and vanity.

The World saw His way of life as insanity.

Insisting that He cease speaking of this radical Christianity.
But man found Him guilty,
Accusing God of blasphemy.

Performing the ultimate dissertation by slaying Christ on Calvary.

But through their cowardly cross, Jesus embossed kind with amnesty championing over death with the beauty of His fatal injury.
And I know that many still doubt and rightfully so...
Bringing up this inquiry, 'what does that poor Jewish man dying on a Roman tree 2,000 years ago have to do with me?'

I reply simply, Christ came to die to marry His bride-to-be, though death could kill the groom- it could not kill the ring.
God made us one with Christ and life in matrimonies cling, now the undying church, His everliving wife can sing,

'Oh death where is your sting? Oh grave where is your victory? For we have risen above your misery, we will not succumb to your finality. We have overcome your infamous mystery and your infinite reign of Christ ministry for we are the resurrection- the insurrection of fatality, we are the risen deity, the intersection dead, yet living body. We live through imperfections for we die to become Holy. We can not be contained by the mouth of the grave. We are the reeling slaves who rose from that garden cave, we pass through death to new birth. We gave the grave to the Earth- and we claim today the crosses worth. The body of it's rising... we are the risen church.'"
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(no subject) [Jul. 5th, 2011|11:40 pm]
I haven't posted in a while... so let's give this a hearty update. Ya feel me?

Let's hit some hot topic...

1. Gay Marriage Legalized in New York
- Okay, here's my views on the whole homosexuality thing. I personally, don't have a problem with it- I have tons of gay friends girls and guys and it's their choice. Yes, I don't agree with gay marriage due to the fact that it ruins what God has for marriage, i.e. man and woman. And it also cuts off the chances of life being created to bring glory to God. We are called to reproduce and grow as the church body of Christ, and if you are putting two onion rings together or two hot dogs together, that doesn't work... yep. I just said that. Problem?

All in all, awesome for the gays- I'm not going to bash you. It's not my place and if you wanna be married that's your deal. Jesus loves all people- no matter what. And that's all that's important in the end if they know Jesus or not. Yeah, my views are scattered... it's late. What do you want from me?

2. Casey Anthony Trial
- Okay- short sweet and simple. Yes, I think she's guilty. Obviously my opinion doesn't matter in this. Personally, I believe that life in prison would of sufficed. But- it all comes down to this... Jesus wants EVERYONE to turn back to Him. Even those who are in sin. In Exodus it talks about that when people do evil things it breaks the Fathers heart... I don't know if Casey is guilty or not. That's not my verdict to make... I just know that God is urging and dying to know her heart and know her... and that breaks my heart.

As for me? My knee is jacked. Again. And my dog doesn't have an eye. Rad eh?

God is still God.
He's always God.
I can rest in that.

Peace.

-amy elizabeth
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(no subject) [Jun. 6th, 2011|11:18 pm]
said goodbye to another church tonight.
i don't want to be involved anymore.
i feel called elsewhere.
i definitely want to do photos this summer- i love what Jesus is doing in the high school ministry.
but overall, i'm done.

i'm ready to take the next step into the next chapter in my life.
i'm tired of being tied down.
i'm running to Jesus the best way i know how.
arms open, and eyes meeting His own.

righteous living > perfection.
in the end, it's me and Him.
not me, Him, and a church.
just me and Him.

-amy elizabeth
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(no subject) [May. 26th, 2011|04:19 pm]
[Current Music |Christ Is Risen- Matt Maher]

i'm in Nashville for the weekend with my cousin.
i want God to make me authentic.
i want Him to transform my heart to beat for Him and Him alone. not my own selfish gain.
He conquered death.
He can conquer what is within me.

He wins.
Every time.

stay true-
amy elizabeth
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(no subject) [May. 23rd, 2011|01:49 am]
[Current Music |Famiy Guy. Season 2]

So I talked to Jesus in the shower tonight.
Well, technically the bath. But who gets technical on a livejournal... I mean.... come on right?

ahem. Anyways.

I want to be a Barbarian. Someone who stands out in Faith. A leader. I've been told countless times I have the mind of a leader and the heart of a prophet. I try to allow Jesus to make this true about who I am. But for some reason, between my heart and my mouth something gets off. I don't normally talk or act like a Barbarian. Sure, I have my moments, and I stand out at times in faith- but overall... I give myself a apprentice.

There's so much more I need to trust Jesus with. Insecurities, and that longing of being accepted by a group of people. I know in Christ that I am accepted, that I am loved. But, it's that worldly longing that trips me up. I'm slowly but surely working on tearing down walls and breaking free from old things that keep me tied down to things that aren't true of me and who I am to God. I'm excited for the next in my life that He has in store.

I guess in short what I'm getting at is that I need to get insecurity out of my life, find a place where I am more accepted and I don't have to be a certain way, be more myself, be more authentic, search and seek Gods heart out, and LIVE in that grace.

Alrighty- until next time.

-amy elizabeth
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(no subject) [May. 21st, 2011|04:46 pm]
"END OF THE WORLD."
"OMG."
"IS THIS SHI REAL?"
"WHO KNOWS?!"

I don't have much to say and not a ton of time to post- but this is what I have for right now.

These phrases and statements have been passed around this week and have spread like wildfire. Apparently in less than two hours the world is going to be coming to an end and Christ is coming back.

I find this to be bollocks. No one knows the day or time that the rapture is going to happen and Christ will return. Not even God Himself. (read the Bible people!) But that's not the point of this post.

The point of this post is how people are becoming, "more real" or, "more loving" towards others due to the fear of the end times. Sure these statements I've heard from people can be taken as fair-weather and only being said to spark up people and egg them on about the topic but nonetheless it grinds my gears.

We shouldn't be real because the end of the world is coming, we should be real because God calls us to be true, and authentic.
We shouldn't love because of fear that we can never love again, we should love constantly, unending and unconditional towards all people because that's how the Lord loves us.

We should although be patient and wait for the true day of the Lord to come. And to be telling people about that spectacular day. It's coming soon- no one knows the true day. But, I feel that it's on the rise. Definitely not in a couple hours tho.

I challenge my readers to get the gospel out there before that day comes. This is a warning. That Jesus IS coming back. We may not know when, but we CAN prepare for that day. To tell people of His love, glory, grace, and power. He is the true Father and Creator.

EVERYONE who runs to Him makes it.

So in conclusion.
- Love all day, erryday.
-Forgive all day, errday.
-Be authentic about your heart, and your life all day, errrryyydday.
-And tell people about Jesus! All dayyy errryyydayyy!!!

That's about it.

alright.
off to Southland I go.


-amy elizabeth
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(no subject) [May. 19th, 2011|03:41 pm]
[Current Music |Wild World- Skins Version]

Oh hey reader- you wanna know how my heart is? okay- I'll let you know.

I'm in a state of learning how my heart works and feels. I know Jesus knows my heart- but, I find it sad that I truly don't know my own heart. I don't know what makes it truly happy, and what makes it simply content. I'm learning about how to truly listen to the voice of truth in this time in my life. I realize that in the following weeks I will be worn out, burnt out, and busier than ever. And I'm sort of excited and dreading it. Dreading what is to come and how it will all work out, and excited to see how God shines through.

At least I'm doing something right for the moment. I'm searching for God in the hard spiritual times in my life. In those moments where I want to scream, give up, walk away, and isolate I am choosing to grab ahold to what I can of God and have Him pull me out of the muck I'm in. I love that. He never leaves me in the pit- He WANTS to come down and lift me up.

Last night I had an extremely uncomfortable talk with a friend. Perhaps one that could shape me. I wouldn't even honestly call it a conversation. More like a lot of truth being word vomited (Mean Girls reference ftw) on me at once. I don't like that. I don't like being told to do something, or someone doing something without reason. "Because" it's not an answer to me. Pet peeve maybe? Or a place where Jesus wants to meet me? Who knows.


I'm reading a book about living a radical life for God. About casting off the, "American Dream" way of living. And honestly- it's answered a ton of questions and convicted me in dozens of ways. I've decided for myself to stop spending so much money. I've cut back tremendously lately on spending and I love that my bank statement for my debit card is down to less than a page! (It's the little things right?) I'm hoping to get it down to me only using it for necessities if it's needed. I'm excited to see how Jesus meets me in this!

I've also realized I'm better at explaining my heart through typing it out instead of talking face to face with people. Good thing? Hmm... I think so. : )
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(no subject) [May. 4th, 2011|12:50 am]
[Current Music |Happy Day- Kim Walker]

Sun Stand Still.
Audacious Faith.

A Wave Jumper.
"Here it's You and me alone God."
Fellowship with the one true Father.
The glory of God dwelling, and radiating in me.

So many words come to mind right now- phrases, fragments, simple statements. I want to live a life that I can say was lived in full faith. I don't want to have a part time faith. I want to live full time faith. I want to see God do works in me and through me- I want to see this world changed. I want to stop being scared and take steps to see my friends come to Jesus. I want Him to take me to places I never dreamed and show me things that I've never seen. I want to hear His voice clear and pure. I want to feel Him all around me. I want to be enclosed in His love. A locked garden. A locked beauty. I want to be in His beauty, and have His true beauty shine through me. I want the Abba Father to consume me. I want to shine Him. I don't want to just be a furnace- I want to move. I want to be a traveling furnace. I want to set off a firework.

Let me be the fuse God. You be the flame, let me be the fuse.

I don't want to just sit here God. I want to find that special place where You and I connect Father. I don't want to be a wave jumper. Please God take my hands and lift me out. Let me wade into deeper waters. Show me these things God. Show me how to pray true and real Sun Stand Still prayers. I know You can do all things. You are Father. You are God. You are the Mighty Beautiful Glorious God. And I am just a servant and daughter.

Allow me to be transformed. And not just live and Only be like you when it's convenient for me. Mold me, shape me, transform me Father. Don't let me be a hypocrite. Allow me to be authentic. I want to have you flow from my toes to the tip top of my head. Let me see what you see Father. Let me use my hands to do the work you have planned for me since before time began. You saw me knit together in my mothers womb. You are with me at all times and watch over me when I am feeling alone and defeated.

I am NEVER defeated with You God. With you I always win. I love that. I love that I can never lose. God I trust You with my friends and my family members who need You. I trust that You will be with them like You are with me. I trust that You will reveal Yourself to them in ways that send them to their knees in awe. I pray that you shake ANY and EVERYTHING that CAN be shaken. Which for You Father is ALL things.

I ask all these things in so much confidence of Your power and glory Father.
Let me desire what You desire.
Let me dream dreams that correspond with Your heartbeat Father.

Amy Elizabeth
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(no subject) [Apr. 29th, 2011|12:25 am]
[Current Music |Saviour- Lights]

So I've been sitting here staring at this computer screen for about a good thirty minutes now and I can't seem to find the right words to type. Perhaps how awesome God is? But that seems overly used... Maybe how I got to go to a Younglife meeting tonight thanks to Aarika and may have a chance to show Jesus to students around Lexington?... No. That doesn't seem right.

Maybe this will suffice.
I'll make a list.

Here we go. Ready?

- I love my job. I love how Jesus specifically placed me here for a reason. I'm making an impact, and I'm so excited for what could happen and for what is happening.
- I love my church for the most part. Some rough patches here and there but God has been so insanely faithful to see me through each little bump in the road.
- Speaking of bumps in the road- the road to moving. Definitely not happening anymore. Jesus had other plans and I'm learning how to trust Him with that.
- Oh Younglife? Yeah- I went to an information meeting about it tonight. I went to YL when I was younger and in middle school and loved it. Jesus has placed a firm, "yes" on my heart. I'm okay with that. : )
- My dog is looking mighty comfortable in my bed. I'm dying to go snuggle with my babe!
- I like sharing my story. Ask me! : )
- The Hunger Games are life.
- "Phlegm"
- ‎'I am increasing in influence and favor for the Kingdom of God.'
- I'm tired.

This will do for now. I'll think of something more meaningful to write about later. hahaha

-Amy Elizabeth
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(no subject) [Mar. 16th, 2011|08:33 pm]
[Current Music |jacki hise on keyboard]

I'm sitting in church as I type this and I'm watching one of my leaders Kasha stand on stage among many more people who are leading out in my church in courageous ways.... but for some reason the only person I know to write about right now is Kasha.... this woman of God IS a source of real hope, of real joy, of real.... everything. I love knowing this girls story and knowing about the insane changes Jesus has done in her in only a few months. She trusts Jesus and.knows Him in some amazingly beautiful ways. She's such an amazingly beautiful person to look up to. She lives in the truth of what Jesus says about her daily. I love that God has allowed me to grow in insane ways and see Jesus in her so much.... gosh.... I'm so thankful. Kasha, if one day you read this, thank you for saying yes. Thank you for not giving up on me. I love you so much. Thank you for all you do. And Jesus, thank you. Thank you so much as well.....



I'm so blessed. :-)
All my love,
Amy Elizabeth
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(no subject) [Mar. 9th, 2011|03:17 pm]
[Current Music |You Won't Relent- Misty Edwards]

 I'm someone who gets discouraged easily. A simple statement made by a friend that they meant as a joke comes off as an insult to me. I'm so insecure about myself and who I am. I find myself being insecure from how I look, my body weight, my face, to even what I own, and even my own spiritual walk with Jesus. I compare myself to people too much, and it's not good for me. I always feel like there's someone ahead of me, (duh). And for some reason lately it's becoming more noticeable in my life.

I'm running a race. My own race. No one is running this race with me- when I die, it's going to be me and Jesus. He's not looking at my mom, my best friend, my minister, no one. it's just me and Him. And I need to stop comparing myself to Earthly people and start comparing myself to Jesus. If I should strive to be like anyone it should be Him right?

I need to stop mirroring the people around me and start mirroring Jesus.
I need to run at my own pace- we all make it to the finish line no matter what. I need to pace myself and keep my eyes on Jesus. And no one else. No one is going to get me to the cross except Him. No one is going to bring me true joy in life except for Him. It's ALL about Him. And I've lost sight of that.

I don't know- I needed to journal that out to make more sense to myself. I hope it finds you like a friend.

All my love, 
Amy Elizabeth
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From Facebook... [Feb. 15th, 2011|03:42 am]
[Current Music |Bring You Back-Hawthorne Heights]

 And I'm still awake from the previous day. I haven't been able to sleep.Tears are falling, and my heart is shifting.

I'm realizing for probably the thousandth time how broken I am, and how faithful Jesus is to mend my brokeness. Lately, I've been coming face to face with God's faithfulness and love even when I try to run from it. Now I bet you're wondering, "Amy, why run from God? Why run from His love?" Honestly? Because I'm scared. I'm scared of what He'll ask of me to do, that He'll tell me to do something that'll be too hard and I'll quit before I achieve the goal.

I do that a lot, I always stop short of the goal- I never take that one tiny little inch step forward to succeed. I always get scared and bail out. And I feel like I do that too much with God, I know He wants me to go into ministry... what type? I don't know yet. He's placed Kentucky Christian University on my heart... but it's insanely scary. Trusting God with my future, not knowing what's next, and finishing the goal of ministering to people out there who need to know His love.

I know I have a story, I mean... everyone does. A story of hope, redemption, and of God's pursuit of them. I bet as you're reading this you're either thinking, about your own story. And if you don't have one... I'd say take a closer look at your life and see where God is at. But, I know God gave me a story for a reason, we have stories to relate to fellow brothers and sisters in this walk of life. I don't want to put to waste my life and my story.

I'm in such a broken state right now. A spiritual time in my life where I find myself crying out to God just asking for His help, His peace, and the coolest part of all? He WANTS to give those things to me. He wants to help me, He wants to give me peace... and I feel it.

He's showing me so much about myself, and showing me how my heart works for Him and for the people in my community around me. He loves when I get quiet and just talk to Him, He loves when I come to Him and ask Him about what's happening because sometimes I can't articulate the words. And He loves watching me stumble and bumble my way around things until I finally get it, and can fully rest in Him.

I love that.
I can rest in Him.
In His love.
He has me. And it's so great.

He wants me to come away with Him, and just be with me. The Father WANTS to be with me. Even when I'm all messy and screwed up, He'll come sit in my bedroom with me and talk to me while I color in a coloring book from when I was a kid. He loves when I can act like a kid again. (Even though I do all the time anyways)

I don't know what 2011 has in store for me. At all. And it's awesome... I know I'll fail, I know I'll succeed... but God is there the whole way leading it all. He can use me in 2011, I'm not the exception.

I don't know if this made any sense, and frankly... I don't give a dern if it didn't. It made sense to me, and well... that's good enough for Him I think.

It's 5:28am, and I need sleep. I feel like if my parents read this they will give me lots of mercy for sleeping till the late afternoon.
Sorry Mom, sorry Dad. Love you! : )

Stay true-
Amy Elizabeth
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2 Timothy. [Dec. 1st, 2010|03:02 am]
[Current Music |You Won't Relent- Misty Edwards]

 2 Timothy 4:7 NIV
"I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith."

since August after returning from a leadership retreat that my church puts on 2 Timothy has been a dear friend to my heart. being able to read the last writings of Paul, who is said to be one of the most influential people in all of history next to Jesus Christ Himself is just insane.

i have loved the time i've got to spend really digging into what Paul has to say about the life we live, and how we're called to fight this good fight, and to finish the race. to keep the faith.

the verse i posted above not only has significance because of the time i've spent in it these last few months, but also how it was read at my Grandmothers funeral talking about her life. she was said to of been a woman of God, someone who was on fire for Jesus all the time, and who would talk to anyone about Him. she was so confident and solid in her faith. you couldn't not shake the ground she stood on because she was rooted so deep in Jesus and His love. 

i want to be able to say when i leave this world that i fought that good fight. 

lately, i can honestly say my roots have been lifted up and haven't been as rooted as they could be, but they are slowly but surely digging deeper, and deeper into His truth.

being able to hear the truth about who i am in Him, and who i was meant to be in His own words, and hear His sweet voice speaking the truth to me, and my heart is just the right push towards the finish line.

if you go into the depths of my posts on here from now, till about 2005 you will see a constant question of me fulfilling what Jesus wants of my life. of where am i suppose to be, what i'm suppose to do, etc. and i've come to the conclusion that i can finally stop asking that question, and just start trusting Jesus with the answer. 

i know whatever i plan on doing whether it be ministry, photography, or heck even working retail, i know Jesus will be leading it. not me. i don't have desires for myself, i never really have... i just want to be able to make the Jesus famous and the bride of Christ being the church famous too. (not my church per-say, the church in general). this isn't me being arrogant about my faith, this is me being like my Grandmother... rooted and solid in my faith enough that i can go where i feel called and make the best of it.

my pastor once said that life is just a huge race made of little races, little check points along the way. i'd say it's like a marathon, you get done with one thing you go onto the next till you finally at the end of it all bust through the final finish line and the race is finished.

i want to fight the good fight, i want to be able to finish the race God has set before me, in full confidence of who i am in Him, knowing i have kept the faith.

this is a growing period for me, and i'm so excited to see what God has in-store for me on the other side of this race that i'm in right now. 
none of this may make sense, but it's just something that's been on my heart that feels good to actually put into words.

until i bust through the tape again...


stay true-
amy elizabeth.
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nostalgia is stupid. [Nov. 2nd, 2010|01:45 pm]
[Current Music |Closer To The Edge-30 Seconds to Mars]

 in the last few days i've really been reflecting on the past. people, events, and just things that i've encountered in the last few years. 

and all in all, i'm starting to learn how to forget. i want to forget so many things from the past.
i'm tired of one song, one word, one image reminding me of something and the memories flooding back and me not being able to fight back the tears anymore.
some pain, some abandonment, some joy, some happiness.
but, 
all i seem to do anymore is cry, and it's scary. i wasn't able to cry for two months straight.

all i want to do is move on, and redefine myself in ways that i never have been able to before. i want to walk away from the memories that have had me bound for so long. i'm not bound to my old self, i'm not bound to who i use to be. 

i heard once that elephants can be in one spot because of a small rope and a small stake in the ground. people are amazed that such a large animal is held down by something so small. but it's because when the elephant was little it only knew this as being stronger than it was. and after trying to pull at the stake in the ground, it realized it couldn't move. that it wasn't strong enough. 

past thoughts, memories, and realizations held the elephant back from running.

it's insane to think that i, myself have been held back by so many trite things in my past. 
there's so many things i'm scared of doing due to fear.
i'm 19 year old.
i started this livejournal when i was 14. i'm not that 14 year old girl anymore.
but yet that 14 year old mindset is still in my head.

i'm tired of living in fear in that 14 year olds mind.
i'm tired of being tied down to that stupid stake in the ground. 

i want to be the 19 year old Amy, not the 14 year old Amy.
the 19 year old Amy is starting over, moving on, and is breaking stakes.

this journal makes no sense.
but it was nice to get it off my chest.

stay true-
amy elizabeth
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(no subject) [Oct. 22nd, 2010|01:43 pm]
 Dear you, 
I love you so much. And we have so many insane memories together and we've only been friends a year. Our endless Skype conversations, our, "ninja skills", waffle house, and indoor soccer. Pork-Chop sandwiches and orange t-shirts. It's insane to think about all our memories and realize we've squeezed them into a years time. I trust you more than anyone in my life. And I know that we'll always be close and friends. I'll ALWAYS be your Copper to your Tod. : ) 

Dear you, 
Wow, two months we've been friends and I'm floored by the changes that you've experienced. You're such a woman of God and it's such a beautiful sight to see. You tears are so beautiful, and you're not an Easy A in my book. : ) N*Sync is still cool sometimes, but only sometimes. I can't thank you for leading me back to the cross and sitting in my, "shit" with me. Thank you for letting me curse as much as I want around you. You know it calms me.  Michael Bolton will always remind me of cleaning. : ) 

Dear you, 
I know I can get frustrated with you. But, thank you for being the first person for me to really share my story with at Quest. Thank you for listening and taking a chance with me. I know I was a long shot, but you didn't give up on me. And you still haven't even in the middle of this processing season. You're such an amazing leader, and such a woman of God. Thank you for all you do and making me laugh when you get stuck in sleeping bags. Best.Memory.Ever.

Dear you,
I know we don't talk as much and it breaks my heart. You're far away at college, but know that you're still my best of all best friends. Since meeting you Freshman year I wonder how many times we've gone to WaHo.... Actually, I don't want to know. Hahaha. I love our nights staying up watching movies since your TV didn't have cable at the time, and our long talks that ended in me shutting down and you just loving on me. Gosh, I miss those summers! You're such a beautiful person inside and out. Thank you for dealing with me in all my shit. I know it's been draining, but you've been there through it all. I can't thank you enough for that. I don't think I can think of a time that I've ever been mad at you. And I can't think of a time that I've ever not loved you. Thank you for always going out of your way to be there for me, and you know I'll always continue to do the same for you. : ) 

Dear you, 
Thank you for the journals. The countless, countless, countless journals you give me. I love how in-tune with the Holy Spirit and God you are. I envy you so much, I envy your relationship that you have with the Divine. Thank you for encouraging me even when I don't want to be. Thank you for the random Sonic runs we take, and our talks about things Jesus shows us even in the hardest of times. I envy your teeth and your smile though. It's so gorgeous. You shine so brightly for the Kingdom. And I swear you're just a very small piece of Heaven here on earth. Thank you for your constant encouragement. I love our talks even though they are very few and far between.

Dear you,
Wow. Random much? I love how our friendship came around, I love how you trusted me right of the bat! I know you're all the way in JAX, but gosh... I love you! I hate how we don't talk as much anymore, and I know you're super busy... but I'm so excited to see how Jesus uses your stories in these next few weeks. : ) It's gonna touch so many lives and you're gonna impact SO many people. I can't wait to see the response. You and your little skunk are gonna dominate. ; ) hahahahahaha

Dear you,
I love how we talk EVERY day! If we don't talk one day I feel incomplete.  I love how our talks vary from fitness, to sex, to God, and back to Crossfit. You crack me up and are probably the most random fitness model I've ever met. I love how deep our conversations can go, and I love how I can be so real with you! I can just be my goofy stupid self and you'll still love me. And we've only met once. hahaha. I can't wait to do Crossfit with you one day and for you to kick my butt. Even if you are a boring old lady. ; ) 

Dear you, 
I'm not sure what's going on in your life. And I hate that we're not as close as we use to be. But, I know Jesus will always pursue you and always love you. He won't leave you. I mean, He hasn't left me... and I'm the super sour patch kid. haha. I love how you trusted me, and I love how you were there that one night on Facebook when I needed prayer the most. God won't give up on you, and I won't either. I promised you and I meant what I said.

........that's all I can think of for now. Maybe I'll write more later.
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(no subject) [Aug. 8th, 2010|01:43 am]
 good-bye Bryce.
or i'd rather call you Ecyrb.

another West Jessamine student gone.
another friend i have to wait a while to see again.

God's glorious....

stay true-
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a note. [Jul. 25th, 2010|08:29 pm]
 Amy- what a blessing you are in my life! i have always admired your passion for community and authenticity. it has amazed me to watch the seasons God is bringing you through. i just wanted to pass along another journal for this next season.  i recently heard a statement that encouraged me so much- and i know you've heard its truth before, but i wanted to pass it on anyway as a challenge and reminder of how amazing and faithful God is :  "Men and women of faith are not characterized by how they love Christ, but rather what they know of Christ's love." Amy, i pray that Christ opens your eyes more and more in the next few months. may you see His love everywhere and in everything..trees, people, words, details in scripture...

Ephesians 3:16-21

 in these next few months- i pray that God just lets you feel, know and see His love in a deeper way than you have ever known.  Amy- you are a beautiful child of God. you always have been, you always will be. Christ looks at you and smiles. you are made perfect and complete. you are deeply for who you are- not what you've done or are doing.  know that i love you and am praying for you and will always.

i love you Amy Thornberry

-LRH
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(no subject) [Jul. 9th, 2010|09:44 pm]
 hallelujah....hallelujah....hallelujah....
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(no subject) [Jun. 14th, 2010|01:59 am]
i've been wanting to post some or say something about this topic for a long time.
about something that really grinds my gears.

what's that topic you ask?
churches vs. churches.
the idea that one group of people think their church is better than the other.
the idea that a CHRISTIAN will call out their brother or sisters own church, saying their church isn't, " good enough ", is too flashy ", or , "is a cult". 

my response?

i watched an online service from my church tonight..

during this particular service they talked about the things our church has done through the money our church body had donated through offerings over the last few years since the church was started in May 1999. 
as i was watching my heart was instantly filled with joy and tears fell from my eyes. 
i was amazed at all the things Jesus has done through my church and through the people who attend it.
here's just the skinny of it all...

from the shoes and coats that have been given and donated at various services-the love given and shown to mistreated women in central Kentucky-to the help given to the Hope Center and the idea of redemption and purity that was shown to the people-to the 156 people who gave their lives at the new Frankfort campus-the 2,000 Hindu-Indians who had never heard of Jesus and His love that now know all about His love, grace, and forgiveness due to missionaries being sent out-to the help with the rebuilding of Haiti, Atlanta, Tennessee, and even my home state of Kentucky after devastating flooding-the 900 pastors, leaders, and even some Fused students who attended the Uprising at my church that taught us all about the importance of growing and teaching the gospel to broken and lost people and bringing them to know Jesus- to the service on Friday nights at my church 350 or so people attend called The Mat that helps people find hope and healing in Jesus-through my church, the people, and the offerings given, people from India, Africa, Frankfort, and Lexington 9,735 people have given their lives to Christ and received Him fully into their hearts.

let me say that again, NINE THOUSAND SEVEN HUNDRED THIRTY FIVE PEOPLE have given their lives to Jesus Christ in TWO years around the GLOBE.

now let me go back to the beginning.
people are saying my church is a cult, is a rock-concert, is too flashy, too loud, is too weird.
in the end does that REALLY matter?

does it really matter what the church looks like and where it's located?
does it matter how the preacher preaches and what he preaches about?
does it matter how many people attend?
does it matter if the music is different?
does any of it matter in the end?
NO!!
ALL churches, big, small, new, old, contemporary, and non-contemporary, baptist, pentecostal, nondenominational, methodist, presbyterian, and all the other types of churches out there have ONE calling in this life ONE calling as a church body and that is to show love to the ones who need love and to  bring people to forgiveness, redemption, and plans that Jesus Christ has for our lives!

i'm tired of people church hating on one another- why do we have to live in a divided religion community? why can we not bond together to show the love of Jesus? why does it have to be every church for themselves?

my church is NOT perfect by ANY means. 
EVERY.SINGLE.CHURCH.HAS.ITS.FLAWS!
it's unavoidable!
there is NO such thing as a, "perfect" church.

we are called to be the bride of Christ and show the love that Jesus has for others like He has for us.
we can't do our calling if we are busy tearing down other churches and our brothers and sisters IN CHRIST who attend them.

if you call yourself a Christian yet you hate on your fellow brothers and sisters in Christ and a church that is bringing lost people to Jesus Christ, that doesn't make sense to call yourself a Christian then does it?

i'm not perfect.
i'm frustrated.
this was my rant.
and now i'm done.
take it as what you will.

stay true-
amy elizabeth.
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(no subject) [Jun. 11th, 2010|05:37 pm]
 i wish i once again knew the words to write in this text box, but i fail to find words again.
so i will ramble- do with it what you will.

it's summer, and my sleeping patterns are once again out of whack. i find myself up till ungodly hours of the night (or morning since i see the sun rise) and i sit in my room that is only illuminated by a computer screen wondering. pondering. seeking out what's next, or better yet, what IS next. 

i realize that my relationship with Jesus is stronger than ever, but- i feel like doors are shutting when i feel like He's opening them in the first place. 

it's like walking into a friends house you know really well, and them inviting you in and then them shutting the door in your face before you get a full foot in the door.

doors are being shut in my face.

so where do i go now? continue on to the next door, or....go through a window? 
do i go after this thing i felt i was being led to, or take it as Jesus saying, "no move on".

today i realized that we need to revel in those moments and take them for what they are. when the door closes appreciate them, don't dwell and see them as a, "failing point". that's what Satan wants from us, he wants us to be angry, upset, depressed, etc. because that's when he can attack us, at our weakest. 

when we seek Jesus in our hard times not only does it show our devotion and want of Jesus, it shows our spiritual maturity. it shows how much we strive for a better relationship with our Creator.

the door may close in our face, we may feel like we're down and out and don't have the urge to knock again....

but, in Luke 11: 9-10 it says, " So I say to you : Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be open to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened."

so take the chance in hard times to knock. He will open, it may be shut back in your face, you may be looking for a window, but knock...He'll open when the time is right


stay true-
amy elizabeth.
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The Awakening- ( i did NOT write this ) [Jun. 9th, 2010|10:24 pm]
A time comes in your life when you finally get…when, in the midst of all your fears and insanity, you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out…ENOUGH1 Enough fighting and crying and blaming and struggling to hold on. Then, like a child quieting down after a tantrum, you blink back your tears and begin to look at the world through new eyes.

This is your awakening.

You realize it’s time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change, or for happiness, safety and security to magically appear over the next horizon.

You realize that in the real world there aren’t always fairy tale endings, and that any guarantee of “happily ever after” must begin with you…and in the process a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.

You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone will always love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are…and that’s OK. They are entitled to their own views and opinions.

You learn the importance of loving and championing yourself…and in the process a sense of new found confidence is born of self-approval.

Your stop complaining and blaming other people for the things they did to you – or didn’t do for you – and you learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected.

You learn that people don’t always say what they mean or mean what they say and that not everyone will always be there for you and everything isn’t always about you.

So, you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself…and in the process a sense of safety and security is born of self-reliance.

You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept people as they are and to overlook their shortcomings and human frailties…and in the process a sense of peace and contentment is born of forgiveness.

You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view. You begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you really stand for.

You learn the difference between wanting and needing and you begin to discard the doctrines and values you’ve outgrown, or should never have bought into to begin with.

You learn that there is power and glory in creating and contributing and you stop maneuvering through life merely as a “consumer” looking for you next fix.

You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not the outdated ideals of a bygone era, but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must build a life.

You learn that you don’t know everything, it’s not you job to save the world and that you can’t teach a pig to sing. You learn the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry and that martyrs get burned at the stake.

Then you learn about love. You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would have them be. You learn that alone does not mean lonely.

You stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes. You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO.

You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside, smoothing things over and ignoring your needs.

You learn that your body really is your temple. You begin to care for it and treat it with respect. You begin to eat a balanced diet, drinking more water, and take more time to exercise.

You learn that being tired fuels doubt, fear, and uncertainty and so you take more time to rest. And, just food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul. So you take more time to laugh and to play.

You learn that, for the most part, you get in life what you deserve, and that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy.

You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for and that wishing for something to happen is different than working toward making it happen.

More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success you need direction, discipline and perseverance. You learn that no one can do it all alone, and that it’s OK to risk asking for help.

You learn the only thing you must truly fear is fear itself. You learn to step right into and through your fears because you know that whatever happens you can handle it and to give in to fear is to give away the right to live life on your own terms.

You learn to fight for your life and not to squander it living under a cloud of impending doom.

You learn that life isn’t always fair, you don’t always get what you think you deserve and that sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people…and you lean not to always take it personally.

You learn that nobody’s punishing you and everything isn’t always somebody’s fault. It’s just life happening. You learn to admit when you are wrong and to build bridges instead of walls.

You lean that negative feelings such as anger, envy and resentment must be understood and redirected or they will suffocate the life out of you and poison the universe that surrounds you.

You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple things we take for granted, things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about: a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower.

Then, you begin to take responsibility for yourself by yourself and you make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never, ever settle for less than you heart’s desire.

You make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting, and to stay open to every wonderful possibility.

You hang a wind chime outside your window so you can listen to the wind.

Finally, with courage in you heart, you take a stand, you take a deep breath, and you begin to design the life you want to live as best as you can.
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. [Jun. 6th, 2010|02:29 am]
so.
i graduated high school.
i started this journal in 7th grade.
i wish there was something i could say right now, or to type.
but there's nothing coming to mind.


i am tired.
goodnight.

stay true-
amy elizabeth.
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poems.old. [May. 30th, 2010|09:57 pm]
[Current Location |room.]
[Current Music |Futures-Jimmy Eat World]

so, i found some old poems.
figured i'd post them for your amusement.

Simplicity.
Wishing for that child like faith.
Wanting that I have a name.
A name that stands above all them.
A name that could of stuck with me,
Through everything.

A name that I had when I was four
A name that I had when I was seven
A name that I had when I was ten
But now being [eighteen]

I wonder what my ame could be.
I remember days when I dreamed.
Wanting to be a pilot
And just flying in the sky,
No limits, just fly.
Days when I dreamed.
And I was anything.

But then I'm brought back to the
Now and here times.
And I want to know what I am doing.
What I am.
What I'm suppose to be.
Who I am supposed to be.
From Disney movies and stuffed animals
That kept me warm and cozy in my bed at night
Seem like far-fetched dreams now.
Things that can't be held onto now.
To keep me warm and cozy.

With the worries of who I am.
What I want to be,
Where I'm going.
I want to know who I am.

Maybe, I'm just Amy
Maybe, I'm just the drummer.
Maybe, I'm just the Christian.
Maybe, I'm just the failure.
Maybe, I'm just the daughter of the King.
Maybe, I'm a singer.
Maybe, I'm a whiner.
Maybe, I'm annoying.
Maybe, I'm the movie goer.
Maybe, I'm the fan.
Maybe, I'm the internet junkie.
Maybe, I'm number one.
Maybe, I am forgiven.
Maybe, maybe it doesn't matter.
Maybe, I'm just yep.
And that's all there is.
Maybe, I'm just...

Maybe, I'm just the kid at heart.
Who stills enjoys the simple things.
Dancing and singing.
Cartoons and chalk.
Still reading comics on Sunday mornings.
Maybe, I don't have to remember my childhood.
Maybe, I can still live it in the here and now.
Maybe, just maybe....
------------------------------------
They say it's like the wind.
You can only feel it.
You can't see it.
But oh, can I see it.
I can feel it.
Like, a fire. It burns.
Deep inside myself.
I'm the only one, who hears,
It crackles and pops inside of me.
And there is nothing anyone can do about it.
It burns bright.
Or I like to think so.
To rage against the dying of the light for a lack of better words.
(very lack of better words.)
I see it everyday
The dying of the light.
That I'm trying to burn bright.
It dies everyday.
A flame
After a flame
After a flame
After a flame
Birthday candles at a birthday party
Going out one by one
To feel the wax burning on my heart
Then to not feel it anymore
The dying of the light,
The light I fight to burn
But to only feel the gagging sensation
Of blood in my mouth
That comes off my tongue
After all the times I bite it.
Wanting to say something
But too scared to say it.
Wanting to say something
Anything.
Fight the dying of the light.
Fight.
The night.
--------------------
Screaming
Loud like a rock concert
In my soul
Burning bright
Brighter than the sun with it

Shines.

More than a super nova star
It is like an air guitar solo
That only I can see
Or like a drum solo,

By Travis Barker
An urge to thrash, crash,
And throw.

To run till my blood,
pumps fire.
To scream and sing.
As much as I please.

Behind closed doors,
a concrete screen.
Where it is just me,
And only me.
And then silence.

A slow and ear shattering
Silence.....
That speaks.
Tells.
And shows.
And it repeats.
---------------------------
Running and leaving,
But always taken back in.
I'm the prodigal.
---------------------------
Not able to be seen,
not able to be touched,
not able to be fully comprehended,
like the wind you can't see it.
But you can feel it, through someone or something,
it's what wakes you up in the morning.
It's what keeps you going.
Keeps you asking questions,
like,
"Why? What if? How come? Where will this happen, Why does this happen? How can I fix it?"
When maybe, the answer is just,

"Yep".

And not much anything more like the marker trick,
it's not easy to explain.
Or to really even understand.
It's just there.
It's just there.

"Yep"
--------------------------

just a little me.
stay true-
amy elizabeth.
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wow. [May. 19th, 2010|12:41 am]
[Current Location |room.]
[Current Music |amazed-Kutless]

can i really put into words how i really feel in this moment right now?
probably not. 
but i'll try.
in short, i've come to realize i've had this online journal since my 7th grade year in middle school, and i am now getting ready to complete my 12th grade year of high school and continue on into bigger and better things.
in short, this freaking journal is OLD. 
and being able to go back through this thing reading all the serious, sad, silly, and down right STUPID posts i've made over the years it's crazy to see how much Jesus has done in my life.
sitting here reading just realizing how real He is and how real His love is, it's just so comforting to my heart and overwhelming to the verge of tears.
from all the loses in this life, to all the new beginnings, the old, new and forgotten and missed friendships, Jesus has stayed the same. and nothing will ever change that.

i'm graduating in less than a month.
goodbye high school.
and goodbye childhood.

the real world will be on the other side of the stage, and i will confront if diploma in hand and Jesus in my heart.
and the urgency to write a new entry on this site soon after the festivities are over to remember every moment.

for those of you who still read this ole' thing. i thank you, and i say i'm sorry also for the confusing and downright emo posts i've made in my day.

forgive me?

stay true-
love always-

amy elizabeth
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