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Amy Elizabeth

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[Sep. 23rd, 2011|12:30 am]
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[Current Music |Silverstein- Discovering The Waterfront ]

So tonight I got to take a hard pill and also get my temperature tested.
Do I mean this literally?... no. Spiritually? Yes.

For the last few months or so I've been stuck in this rut of finding out who I am with Jesus, and if I know Him... and lastly- what my relationship with Him really is. And, it's been hard. Really hard.

This last week I've really been able to get a grip on my faith. And realize it's not about others, it's about me and God. Me and Him alone. I let insecurity rule so much in my life... even my faith and relationship with Jesus. Insecurity is a silent thief to me... I think I'm doing great and it sneaks up out of no where and captures and steals what I love without warning.

And it's really starting to piss me off.

Lately at my church I've been feeling unwanted, that my, "story" isn't up to par or that I don't matter because I'm not a, "real" leader... All of these things are lies... but I've listened to them for so long that they became truths to me.

These things have held me back from being close to the Father like He wants me to be. Am I saying my faith is an act? No. I'm saying that I allow others to influence my faith in ways it shouldn't. I need to get back to me and God... no one else. Where I'm at right now in my journey- I don't need unnecessary outside forces giving me their two cents on my faith.


I need to get back to that child like faith... strive to be in His presence, in His will, in His love.
It's His love that brings us together and what holds me together in the darkest of moments. The great thing about God that I keep learning over and over again is that He never gives us more than we can handle. And when it feels like He has- He meets us in it and lightens our load. He wants to see me succeed... He won't let me fail.

Gosh... I needed to get these words out.
I've known Jesus my whole life... I can't remember a time where He has abandoned me.
It's crazy.

I'm in love with a Man I can't even see.
Crazy.

In Him,
Amy Elizabeth
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